Keeping Up Apppearances
by Mindy35
Summary: Jack/Liz. Jack needs a wife. Liz is it.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Keeping Up Appearances

Author: Mindy

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Tina's etc.

Spoilers: Nope.

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Summary: Jack needs a wife. Liz is it.

-x-

Jack starts to talk as soon as she walks into his office:

"Lemon. I need a wife. Just for tonight. And _you_ are it."

"Okay."

"Before you start," he holds up a hand to forestall her: "let me just say that, no, I am not at liberty to fully explain, and yes, I have considered all other options-"

"Jack-"

"I don't wish to ruin your evening or make you uncomfortable in any way-"

"Jack."

"And believe me, if I thought there was any way of avoiding this, I absolutely would but-"

"Hey! Donaghy!"

Jack halts, eyes wide and mouth half open.

"Cool it," she whispers. "I said yes."

He blinks. "You did?"

She gives a shrug. "Sure. I'm your wife." She adjusts her glasses. "So where are we going?"

"Russian Tea Room," he replies, a little stunned.

"Fancy," she comments. "You gonna find me a dress or something that a wife of yours would wear?"

Jack nods. "Of course."

"And get rings?"

"Naturally."

"Time?"

"Seven."

"Okay." She turns to the door. "I'll come up at six."

"Lemon?"

"Yeah?" She turns back to face him, eyebrows raised.

"You're…" He takes a tentative step toward her: "really okay with this?"

Her eyes cut to one side. "Am I gonna be fed?"

"Yes."

"Will there be booze?"

"Plenty."

"Then, yeah," she replies airily: "I'm good."

Jack dips his head, lowers his voice. "We _will _need to, ah…maintain an appearance, if you…understand my meaning."

Her expression remains unfazed. "There's gonna be fondling?"

He bobs his head. "Some light fondling, yes."

"Can you keep it above the waist?"

"I'm fairly sure I can manage that."

"Alright…" she murmurs. "Anything else I should know?"

"The other men's wives are boring as hell," Jack answers with barely a pause.

"Hm, well…" she releases a breath: "I'll just think of a movie to replay in my head."

"Of course," he points out: "I…shall be there also."

"Right," she says, waving a hand at him: "I'll just talk to you then."

He gives another nod. "That would be fine."

"Okay then…" She looks at him a moment before turning to the door a second time.

Again, Jack follows. "Er…thankyou, Liz."

"Sure." She faces him on the threshold, starts to walk away then stops to add: "Maybe one day I should get you to repay the favor and be my husband."

Jack gives her a small smile. "I might enjoy that, Lemon."

She points a finger at him: "Hey– don't call me Lemon tonight."

"What would you prefer instead?" he murmurs huskily: "Honey?"

She tilts her head. "_Liz_ will be fine. And I'll call you Jack. Like I always do."

"Well. _You_ could call _me _'honey'," he offers, taking another step closer: "if you wished."

She arches a brow. "As in 'Shut up, honey, before I change my mind'?"

His smile increases. "Precisely."

"I'll pass." She waves her finger at him again before leaving. "See you tonight."

"Looking forward to it," Jack calls after her: "…_Mrs Donaghy_."

"Yikes…" is the response that drifts back to him.

Jack chuckles to his empty office.

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Keeping Up Appearances

Author: Mindy

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Tina's et al.

Spoilers: Nada

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Summary: Jack needs a wife for the night. Liz is it.

-x-

Jack continues talking after their drinks arrive:

"Okay, one more time before they get here."

Liz slumps in her sleek navy dress. "Come on, Jack, we went over this a zillion times in the car."

He slides her drink toward her. "We need to have our stories straight if we are to pull this off."

"Our stories are straight, " she mutters, slithering up onto one of the barstools. "They're straighter than straight. In fact, they're so close to the truth in parts that they're barely even a lie."

Jack adjusts his tie in the mirror over the bar, smoothing a hand down the length of it. "I just figure the less we have to fabricate the easier this will be on both of us."

"Sure, I get that," she nods, distracted by a heaped bowl of bar snacks.

"So then-" He takes a sip of his drink, levels her with a look: "When did we meet?"

Liz rolls her eyes and begins to graze. "Three years ago. When you became my boss. We liked each other immediately. Well, you liked me. I wasn't so sure. I'm still not-"

"And-" he interjects sharply: "how long have we been married?"

"One year, next Wednesday," she answers with a sigh. "We're celebrating with a trip to Europe."

"_And_?" he presses.

"And we've started trying for kids," she adds obediently.

"Good," Jack bobs his head, moving on. "Now…you were attracted to my-?"

"Wit and power," she replies by rote.

"Naturally." His brows lift in expectation: "And…?"

"Um…" Liz winces, thinking.

"Lemon-"

She waves a hand in the air. "Wait, wait! I know this one."

"Lemon, we went over this!"

"You're not supposed to call me that," she huffs.

"In company, I won't."

"Hey-" she points out suddenly, eyes narrowed: "here's something we haven't clarified."

"What?"

"What were you attracted to? In me?"

Jack fidgets with the ring on his finger. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well…" she shrugs, waving a pretzel at him. "these people know you, right?"

He nods once. "For some years."

She examines him, the bowl of bar snacks she's commandeered cradled to her breast. "So? Aren't they going to wonder why you're with me? Why you all of a sudden married me, out of aaaaall the women you've dated over the years?"

Jack sips his drink, brows furrowed. "Now _why_ must you say it like that?"

She glances around the fancy, buzzing bar. "Come on, Jack, it's pretty unlikely."

"What is?"

"This," she says, mouth full. "You. Me. We're an unlikely match."

He smiles slyly. "Says who?"

"Says you, for one."

"I think it's time you let that go."

"Whatever," she mumbles, leaning around him to check the entrance. "I just hope you've thought of what you plan on telling these people when they ask what made Jack Donaghy, the confirmed bachelor and acclaimed womanizer finally get hitched again. Because my bet is they will."

Jack's smile becomes smugger. "I wouldn't worry about me, Lemon. I can sell this."

She arches a brow. "You can _sell_ being in love with me?"

"Madly. If I must."

"We don't have to be…madly in love," she mumbles, shifting in her seat. "Just a little in love would do it, don't ya think?"

"What's the problem?" he smirks, eyes twinkling. "You don't think you can sell being madly in love with me?"

She meets his gaze blankly. "With you? Or with your wit and power?"

His head cocks. "Just laugh and touch my chest."

"Huh?"

He indicates the mirror over the bar. "They're here. Show time."

"Oh." Liz sits up straighter, abandoning her half-emptied bowl. She dusts off her hands, places the one with her phony engagement and wedding ring on his lapel. "Here…? S'that good?"

"Perfect," Jack replies. "Now laugh."

She shoots him a dubious look. "I don't give it away, Jack."

"You know…" He shuffles closer, looks her up and down then slides one warm palm about her body: "you look very beautiful in that dress."

"Ha." She nods a few times, grinning approvingly. "You are good at this."

"I told you I could sell it."

"And I believed you."

He leans into her ear, whispering smugly: "Just try to keep up…Mrs Donaghy."

_TBC..._


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Keeping Up Appearances

Author: Mindy

See part one for rest.

-x-

Liz continues babbling as they step off the elevator:

"I'm just sayin', Jack, I totally killed tonight."

Jack takes her elbow, guiding her down the hall toward her door. "So you've said, Lemon."

"I mean, I _owned_ that table. The dudes loved me. The wives loved me. Even the waiter loved me."

"Most importantly, I loved you."

"Right-" She casts him a sideways glance, her enthusiasm faltering: "You were…good too. Though some of your jokes could use a little…"

"You're critiquing my performance?" he asks, tone incredulous: "Is that what's happening now?"

She wags her head drunkenly. "Not crtitiquing, no critiquing-"

He lets out a sigh. "You're going to slip just perfectly into marriage, Lemon, mark my words."

She smiles brightly: "Really? Thanks. So…what are you gonna tell Harold and Jeanne, Ted and Caroline and Phil and Nicolette happened with us next time you meet up?"

Jack tilts his head in thought. "I suppose I could say you died."

She gives a shrug. "I'd be fine with that."

"But hopefully we won't all see each other for some years. By then it would be plausible for me to simply say we amicably divorced due to irreconcilable differences."

"That's a shame," she says with a rueful click of her fingers. "I was kinda rooting for us."

Jack smiles, facing her as they reach her door. "I can't thank you enough for tonight, Lemon. You were…perfect."

Her eyes widen with glee and surprise. "I know, right? I totally crushed being your wife."

"You did," he nods, then adds quickly: "And I apologize for the below-the-waist violation."

Her eyebrow arches. _"Several_ below-the-waist violations, Jack."

"I was merely exerting my rights as an adoring husband."

"Yeah, well, lucky for you, I'm a little drunk. And that risotto was mind-blowing, so...it's all good."

"Lemon…" He takes her keys from her hand and unlocks the door for her: "you're going to make some lucky man a wonderful wife one day."

She pokes his shoulder with one finger, murmuring fondly: "Aw. You too, Jackie, and I mean that."

"Well…" Jack nods a few times and shuffles closer, eyes drifting over her face.

Liz's face falls suddenly, her hands flying to her throat.

Jack frowns at her. "What are you doing?"

She frowns back. "What are _you_ doing?" she mutters, patting her neck a few times with panicky hands. "I'm not wearing a necklace."

"No," he replies, confused. "You're not…"

She cocks her head, eyeing him warily before her expression suddenly splits into relief. "Oh my God, you want the rings!" She shakes her head at herself, hits her forehead with the heel of her hand. "Idiot Liz…! Here you go-" She starts to twist the two rings he gave her at the start of the evening off her left hand. They don't come without a little tugging though. "Sorry…" she says breathily before dropping them both in his palm. "There. So. Okay, well-" she ducks inside: "goodnight!" and slams the door.

Jack looks up from the rings in his palm and finds himself facing firmly closed door. He blinks a few times in shock, pockets the rings and half-turns to go. But he stops, considers a moment, and instead he knocks.

Liz immediately re-opens the door. She's still right by the door, bent at the waist, removing her shoes. "Hey?" she greets, a question in her tone: "Did you…did you need the dress back now too?" She waves a shoe in the direction of her bedroom. "Cos I can go take it off and give it to you…if you want."

His mouth curls up in one corner. He takes a deliberate step toward her.

"Jack?" she says, voice shrinking as he advances. "Jack, you…didn't answer…my question there, Jack..."

He draws in a slow breath, gaze dropping over her. "Do I want you to take it all off and give it to me? Was that your question?"

Liz's mouth opens. She blinks at him, speechless, cheeks turning pink, lips unsure whether to laugh or object. "I- not- You-"

"Perhaps this," he murmurs, slipping a hand around her: "will answer your question."

He backs her against the coat rack by the door, lowers his mouth and kisses her. It's only meant as a short, enticing taste of what he has to offer. But once he starts kissing her he doesn't want to stop. Especially since she starts to kiss him back, her response tentative but tangible. Her head tips back in the cardigans hung on the rack and a soft, bewildered moan escapes her throat as her hands both lift, one still gripping her shoe, to his shoulders. Jack delves deeper, plucking at her lips with his, switching angles but not allowing his tongue to have its way. Not yet, at least.

"So?" he asks when he pulls back, voice husky with arousal: "Does that…answer your question, Lemon?"

She shakes her head mutely. Blinks at him. Then swallows. "Not…exactly…no."

"Then let me put it this way." Jack's eyes flash as he kicks the door shut and starts to…exert some more of his husbandly rights.

_END._


End file.
